Originally we had invited Johanna and Josef to talk to us about their life with a large family and a child with Down syndrome, but so much more came out of it. It became an intimate and deep conversation about the joy and struggle of conceiving and expecting a child and the pain of possibly losing it and having to let it go to heaven.
According to statistics, about one in six pregnancies results in a miscarriage, often before the woman even realizes she is pregnant.
We, too, were told it was a completely natural process and that the child had simply not developed any further. But once you've seen the heartbeat and looked forward to the baby nothing feels normal.
Life has gone. The ultrasound is silent and "normal" then probably includes just "normal" to continue. But both the body and the psyche first have to keep up.
For all its naturalness and normality, it is nevertheless an experience of death.
A new personality that was taken to heaven by God even before we were allowed to get to know it. This child precedes us, will intercede for us and meet us one day. But to accept and let go of that, to process it at all, is probably anything but normal for most women and takes time.
Joseph and Johanna have given us a very personal insight into this struggle with God: about life, the fears, the grief and the loss and the joy about the great miracle of being allowed to have children.
(Salt&Blessing Episode 13 Cerny Family Part 1)